Between you and I - Why shouldn't we use this widely used phrase?

By Ranjana S.

Yes, this phrase is widely used and its usage is found in writing even in Shakespeare's work. 

Even many experts have accepted it as a standard usage.  However, it is grammatically incorrect. This will be obvious to you when you reverse the order of the pronouns: between I and you.  The preposition between requires the object-form of pronouns that follow it. The correct phrase will be between you and me.

Why has the phrase between you and I become popular?

Probably, it's the early coaching that middle-class children receive in good grammar. Students have the propensity to use the phrase you and me where you and I is correct.

Image Source: Internet

You and me are going to the party---incorrect. Here concerned parents and educators raise their eyebrows and instantly correct the sentence:  “Please say you and I".

Subsequently the obedient child hence develops the habit of using the phrase you and I on all occasions- even when grammar requires the object form you and me.

This construction is incorrect in the following cases too:

• Let you and I hug. --------------x
• Let Polly and I give you a lift home. ---------------x
• The news was a pleasant surprise for my friend and I. -----------------x
• They must be back biting you and I at the clubhouse. ------------------x
• Between you and I, I don't believe a word she is saying----------------x
• Father, Can you meet my husband and I tonight? --------------------x

There are many experts who argue that this usage is prevalent and it is an established idiom, hence, it is acceptable.  Others, are of the opinion that it hasn't been used as a natural idiom, so one must refrain from using it.

The problem, here to address is that of the case.

Can we recapitulate the cases?

Nominative forms of the Personal	Objective forms of the Personal
Pronouns	Pronouns
I	Me
You	You
He	Him
She	Her
We	Us
They	Them

We know that the objective forms of these pronouns are used as objects of prepositions.

Let us consider the two cases:

 The Nominative case of the pronoun is used as the subject of the verb

• My friend and I would like to meet you.
• My sister and I are happy to hear the news.
• She and I couldn't get along.
• We and they have been buddies for years.

The Objective case of the Personal Pronoun is used as object of the verb

But what is an object?

To answer this question, let us revise what we have learnt about subjects.

The subject of the verb is the person or thing we are talking about:

• She dances.
• The mother cooks.
• He sings.
• She sees.
• She is seen.

In the first four cases, the subject initiates the action of the verb, which is in the active voice.

Let us talk about a subject, say Peter.

What does Peter do-what action he starts?

• Peter infuriates the soldiers.

'infuriates' is a verb in active voice.

In some cases, the subject of a verb receives the action of that verb, as in

'She is seen'.

This is a case of passive voice.

Look at the following instance:

• Charles is sent to Australia to interview the Right Wing leaders.

'is sent' is a verb in the passive voice.

Verbs in the passive voice are always in phrase and are composed of some form of the verb to be and the perfect participle.

If the subject receives the action of the verb, the initiator of that action is also found in the sentence. The initiator will be referred in the sentence within the prepositional phrase introduced by the preposition by.

• Active: Raima saw me.
• Passive: I was seen by Raima.
• Active: He will rebuke me.
• Passive: I will be rebuked by him.
• Active: The girls have used cosmetics for many years.
• Passive: Cosmetics have been used by the girls for many years.

Now talking about objects again:

The subject of an active verb starts the action of the verb.

The object of an active verb receives the action of that verb.

Look at the abovementioned illustrations, all of them have objects.

Verb.	Object
Seen.	me
Will rebuke.	me
Have used.	cosmetics

A passive verb doesn't have an object, the subject of the passive verb receives the action. However, in the case of active verb the object receives the action. Only active verbs have objects.

A further point to be noted- active verbs which have an object are transitive

 

(Not all active verbs have objects )-active verbs which do not have an object are intransitive verbs.

Look at the examples:

• The enemy attacked the citizens. ----------transitive (Object citizens)
• The enemy attacked with vigor-------------intransitive.
• Who last saw Patrick smoking? ------------transitive (Object Patrick)
• Lie down for a good sleep-----------------intransitive.
•  They ate the dessert------------transitive (Object dessert)
• We arrived on time--------------intransitive.

 Personal Pronouns which function as objects of a verb are in the objective case:

• I see her.
• He sees them.
• She sees me.
• They see him.
• They see us.

If we have two pronouns as the object  of the verb, they both are in the objective case.

• They appreciate him and me.
• Will they meet her and him?

So the rule is if a noun and pronoun form the compound object of the verb, the pronoun is in the objective case.

• Will you invite Fenny and me to the party?
• We heard Richards and her crying.
• Why do you treat Betty and us badly?

Here we get the solution finally:

The correct sentence - Between you and me, I don't believe a word she is saying.

So, the golden rule is- As object of the verb, personal pronoun is always in the objective case.